問: 我和我的未婚夫已經在一起有一段時間了, 但我們認識很久了. 其實我們從初中到高中都是一起上學的. 那時我們並不親近, 但我們的學校不是很大, 所以我們肯定認識彼此. 快進到大學畢業幾年後，我們最終在一起了——非常幸福, 我可能會補充.

我們去年訂婚了, 疫情期間 (後 6+ 在一起的歲月). 我們對我們早期的前景感到非常興奮 2023 婚禮看起來很有希望. 然而……我們遇到了一個巨大的障礙.

我們正在共享電子表格中列出賓客名單. 我開始文檔, 進入, 並添加了我們的大部分家庭成員, 我們的朋友, 等等. 然後將其發送給他進行任何調整或添加. (我們很幸運，我們有一個非常靈活的賓客名單規模，並且不必限制自己太多。) When I looked back at the spreadsheet the next day I saw that my wonderful fiancé had added about eight guys that we went to high school with.

Let me stop here to share some facts. 1. Fiancé does not have regular contact with these people. Maybe Instagram and Facebook-style contact, but not more than that. 2. 我不知道, truly, until seeing the spreadsheet, that he would want those people at our wedding. He doesn’t talk about them, I think they are sort of nostalgic friends from childhood, and they definitely don’t seem to be ‘current’ friends. 和, most importantly, 3. I do not like these eight men… or at least I really did not like them when we were in school together. They were bullies and treated me really really poorly at a very vulnerable time in my life… enough that it has been a topic of conversation over the years for me in therapy and I believe the repeated unkindnesses have negatively affected my mental health and life. I really thought I was done with contact with these people after moving away from my hometown, considering the fact that my fiancé (my only current ‘connection’ to them) basically never references them.

How wrong I was. Anyway, you can imagine that the conversation that ensued wasn’t comfortable. Fiancé is pretty adamant that he really wants these ‘friends’ at his wedding. I am firmly against that idea, and very much do not want them at mine. But… it’s the same wedding. 所以, what do we do? I really need help. He’s having a hard time understanding my ages-old hurt, and I don’t understand his commitment to having friends (or these particular friends) of yesteryear there at all. It feels like he’s choosing them over me, and I think he thinks I’m being dramatic… HELP!

-匿名的

你有什麼感想, 美聯社? What should this reader do about this wedding guestlist stalemate they’ve found themselves in? Drop your two cents in the comments.