How to Get Your Groom Involved in the Wedding Planning Process

groom and groomsmen
Photo: Deyla Huss Photography via Bridal Bliss

Figure out which tasks he’d enjoy the most. “Wedding planning is a team effort, but sometimes it might fall on one of you. The best way to split up the responsibilities is to find what each person enjoys. If your fiancé loves to eat, he might be really good at cake tasting. And when it comes to deciding what he and his groomsmen are going to wear, he can have fun with that too. He may not be excited about going to a store to get measured and try something on, so have him do it online. Now you can do a lot of wedding planning online, and you can try on your suit or tuxedo at home. Make it fun and easy.” —Matt Ramirez, SVP of Marketing, Generation Tux

groom attire
Photo: Move Mountains Photography via Infinite Events

Divide and conquer the tasks. “If you want your groom to be more involved, why not divide and conquer? Pick an area of planning that he will particularly enjoy choosing or researching. It doesn’t mean that you need to share 50/50 of the work, but give him something he will enjoy doing. Is he very keen about his cocktails? Let him plan the bar options. Is he a massive music fan? Let him research the band and DJ. Has he got a keen eye for photography? Let him research the photographer and videographer. At the end of the day, it is day for both of you and about both of you — so involve him as much as he wants.” —Charlotte Ricard-Quesada, La Fête

groom and groomsmen
Photo: Brogan Jessup Phptography via Bridal Bliss

Have him choose the thank-you gifts for his parents & groomsmen. “No one knows the groom’s parents and his groomsmen better than the groom. Get the groom involved in picking out personalized thank-you gifts for them. Handkerchiefs with sweet messages for his parents and a monogrammed handkerchief for each groomsman make perfect gifts and will be extra appreciated when they find out he picked them out.” —Colleen, The Handkerchief Shop

wedding handkerchief
Photo: Love Me Do Photography via The Handkerchief Shop

Brainstorm common interests to incorporate into activities & décor. “From cocktail hour activities, personalized cocktail choices, or even color schemes and décor, your partner’s opinion can help play a key role in the overall vision of the day. One top recommendation is to brainstorm common interests or hobbies that both partners enjoy and find ways to subtly incorporate them into the day. For example, if you are both fans of a specific sports team or college you can add touches of those colors, fonts, or slogans into anything from signage to cocktail napkins, or even the overall color story of the day. Does your groom have a favorite pastime they love? Use this as an activity for guests during cocktail hour or the reception! A group crossword puzzle, lawn games, or even a late night frisbee session can be the perfect addition to wow guests and bring both your personalities into the day!” —Ari Busch, Operations Manager and Lead Planner at Bridal Bliss

groom and groomsmen
Photo: Deyla Huss Photography via Bridal Bliss

Let them help with entertainment and food — the fun parts! “We like to give our grooms certain tasks. They excel in entertainment — think band or DJ. They also like to be involved in the food aspect of the planning! While they may tune out during design meetings, incorporating some personal touches that mean a lot to you both is a great way to honor each other. Giving them deadlines is helpful and including them (if they want to be included) in all correspondence keeps them in the loop! We also recommend giving them a say as to what is important to them and making it happen, even if you don’t fully agree! It’s all about give and take when it comes to wedding planning, just like any relationship.” —Erica Trombetti, Infinite Events